its been months since i left high school... and now that i'm in college i have noticed that i have been smiling more often... but wat does a smile mean..? is it happiness?? or a stupid mask to cover up all the scars that was left behind....-solo's property..eheh!!
la lang.. y is it so hard to move on.. its bin months since i moved hir in metro but i still get emotional evrytym i think of how i mis my comfort zone: our house..mybed..my pillows..m parents.. to top it all-my bestest buddies of all tym.. actually im surrounded wid good pipol in our skul..i also have my yfc family (thank GOD ther're hir).. well the loneliness occures everytym i check our website-augustine06.multiply.com...the pictures wearing their uniforms plus having a blast with each other's company..it hurts a lot.. the word is "jealousy".. in my case, my social life sucks.. i mean if ever il visit the mall, its all bcoz i have to but stuffs at the bukstore then go home aftrwards... well this is my world.. instead of roaming around the streets of manila or watch the latest flivk..id rather wash my clothes or take an early nap because im drop-dead-tired becuz of so many skul works..exams..etc..
..speaking of skul..well we alredy got our test booklet in chemistry..thank GOODNESS 60 out of 100..just right to pass..eheh..nyweiz, i just had my algebra long test this afternoon & i suck.. i wasnt able to answer the problem solving items..damn,,so hard to analyze,i fil so bad becus i rily studied my lssons yet i wasnt able to answer the questions correctly..well, i tried my best to control my tears...but its human nature that im really -iyakin- cant help it..=(..yah its just a test but its 10% of my grade this term..nah, dont wanna be a repeater..cant take it... so after class, i decided to attend our worship wid kat..i felt better..its GODS WILL..thanks to my ates & kuyas in YFC hu never failed to comfort me..=)...
...hir i go agen..thoughts of uncertainties starts to pile in my head agen..why industrial engineering? why mapua? why manila? why not go back to pampanga? why fall in love wid *mr.dee*..considering the fact that it just cant be 'us'.. what if...what if...what if... nah..this doesnt make any sense at all..
..before these things are just my concerns...new clothes..make up..go out wid my frens..my fone..my crushes & the complicated word spelled as L-O-V-E,,,my pimples..my hair..etc...things that are very superficial but now..im more concern on how can i pass my subjects...how can i manage my time in school.. my clothes w/c starts to pile up..my missin-syndrome.. how to manage my finances.. my allowance.. how can i touch other people's lives..how can i serve GOD... how can i make my FUTURE at its best view.. its a big surprise for me that little by little..im no longer self-centered person..im gettin better,,,still full of uncertainties..the wat if statements that buggin oround my head.. well i want to be happy..hehe..am i? shud i?
--watever--
well this is me..tryin to unravel the mysteries of growing up..i may be insecure but open to new experiences..i want to be ahead of everyone else..to be different without feeling left out..haha.. hopin il fil better soon..
its just that i miss my friends..actually my second family-named the augustinians..
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- One desire Lyrics (lovin this song=),,Verse 1 you give it all for me my soul desire my everythingand all I am is devoted to you Verse 2How could I fail to see you are the love that rescued me and all I am is devoted to you Pre-Chorusand oh, how could I not be moved, Lord here with you So have your way in me, cause Lord there is just one thing that i will seekChorus this is my cry, my one desire Just to be where you are Lord now and forever it's more than a song, my one desire is to be with you, is to be with you, JesusBridge the one thing, the one thing I ask, is to be with you
hold me now at 3:59 AM
