BELIEVING I AM BEAUTIFUL
I was an ugly duckling. Yes, I was. Im not presuming I look superb now but what I mean is, I wasnt always positive about the way I looked nor was I always at ease with myself. Actually, I still am not! (just kidding) as far as I can remember, Ive been dark, big(now I’m 5 feet 8 inches height then I weigh…ah-ah…170 plus pounds), chubby, kind of awkward the way I move, my legs are full of scars and all. I remember it like it was yesterday. I was in 3rd grade when kids in my school started to tease me like there’s no tomorrow. You know cruel kids can be. It used to bother me a lot. I would always cry at one corner and feel so humiliated. I wanted to fit in. years later I was able to ignore the insults. I learned to get used to it. I went on with my life, met my trusted friends, studied hard, got active with the things that I enjoyed doing and eventually everything fell into place.
To be honest, I still feel so ugly at times; I tend to be so upset with the standard of beauty set by the community…
*The slim figure-I got the opposite. I have a big-boned figure. I got big thighs. Big shoulders.
*The flawless skin-I got the opposite too. Acne really runs in the family and whatever treatments I try, they just simply don’t want to go away COMPLETELY.
*The long skinny legs-I got long legs but theyre not skinny and flawless. I still have traces of scars that I got when I was a kid. I remember I got those scars when I kept running from the embarrassment whenever the cruel kids would tease me with the way I look. I keep on running that time then I’ll just simply fall when I get tired and get those wounds. Sad but totally true.
Its really hard being in my shoe. Pressures. Insecurities. Anxieties. I tend to hate the world for looking like this. I hate it when guys would always say to me, I like you because you’re pretty but you’re too tall and big .Or when I walk, people keep on staring because of my height. Sometimes I wish I could also be like the girls who seem to have it all to be labeled as beautiful-LOOKS.BODY.HAIR.SMILE.LEGS.COLOR OF SKIN…etc.
But now, I simply realized that being beautiful comes only when I started to embrace my imperfections and start looking on the good assets that I posses. Other girls may be lucky enough to be exactly what the society dictated as 'beautiful, but they are not perfect. And I believe no one is. Not even me, but I am better-off than those 'pretty girls' because in spite of being FAT,TALL and ALL… I am truly blessed and REALLY HAPPY with lots of things, I have my loving family with me, my friends, my god-given talents, my charm & my special someone who always believed that I am really beautiful. It all really boils down on how you look at things.
If certain person makes you feel bad about yourself then dont mind. No one cares of what others think of you because you are the only soul who knows the true person that lies within.
Now that I think about it, I realized that it was really the love and acceptance of the people around me and God who made me discover to love and accept myself the way I am. I know its easier said than done but it all really lies on how much you accept and get satisfied with everything that I have. If I started to love how I look no matter what other people say or judge me. I just accept my flaws and focus on my assets and talents, the positive outlook will shine through. Reception starts from within. Ive always believe that everything that is happening in my life is really part of Gods plan for me. Who we are depends really on what we do; its how we handle situations in our life. Thats why I pray, have fun, dream big, dont step on other people on my way up, keep my feet on the ground, laugh at my mistakes and learn from them, cry my heart out, love with all my heart, love myself and most especially love GOD, my creator.
BESIDES KAPAG NAMATAY AKO, HINDI NAMAN TATANUNGIN NI GOD KUNG SEXY BA AKO OR MAGANDA BA ANG NGIPIN KO NUNG NABUBUHAY PA AKO. WHAT REALLY MATTERS TO HIM IS ONLY MY GOOD HEART AND DEEDS.
TO ALL GIRLS OUT THERE, WE ARE ALL BEAUTIFUL. BELIEVE ME.
hold me now at 1:29 AM
